There’s a lot of awkward writing in novels, particularly when it comes to sex. In the U.K. they’ve done something about it: they’ve created the Bad Sex in Fiction Award. Keep reading for scintillating excerpts from some of the nominees.

Some famous U.S. authors were nominated this year, including John Updike, Paul Theroux and Tama Janowitz. In “Peyton Amberg,” Janowitz says a lover’s foreplay is “as if he was searching for lost car keys.”

Some writers can never forget that humans are basically primates. In “Too Beautiful for You,” Rod Liddle describes an orgasm this way: “She came with the exhilarating whoops and pant-hoots of a troop of Rhesus monkeys, which was flattering, if alarming.”
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This message may or may not be authentically from Mayan elders in Guatemala. But it displays deep knowledge of Mayan religious and cosmological belief and as such, is well worth our thoughtful attention. Their predictions forecast changes, starting from December 4th.
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We’ve been writing for years about the mysterious hums that are driving people crazy in various towns around the world, such as Kokomo, Indiana. Now the hum problem is official: The New York Times reports there’s a hum in Albuquerque.
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A UFO in the sky over Lankarshire in the U.K. last week caused drivers to stop their cars and look up, leading to several rear end collisions. What they saw was a huge silver object.

In lankarshire.icnetwork, Judith Tonner quotes one witness as saying, “My friend saw something hovering, which was silver in appearance and looked like the dishes you see on the side of television transmitters. It was huge, and it was pulsating?he wasn’t the only one who saw it, as you couldn’t have missed it?Then the object just suddenly disappeared?it was so strange.”
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