A Traveler at the Edge of Death

This letter is one of many that appear inthe CommunionLetters. It illustrates the profound connection betweendeath and the close encounter experience that is discussedin Anne’s Diary.

I was born in Texas in 1945. I’ve had OBEs since I was asmall child, and never thought it unusual, rather that theywere private and no one talked about it much.

They becamevery intense during my Freshman year in college, leading upto a period where I went completely blind for 3 days. MyESP seemed to become more and more prevalent, so since I wasa “very rational” honor student, I began psychotherapy,thinking something was severely wrong with me and I wantedto get back to “normal” as soon as possible. I got marriedwhile still in college and would stay during summer sessionsas well. We had a child in 1966.

In the early summer of ’68, my daughter and I drove to New Mexico to visit somefriends who had a small ranch there, before going west tomeet my husband. Leaving Taos, we drove to Flagstaff andwaited there until the early evening, to cross the MojaveDesert at night.

About two hours outside of Flagstaff, my daughter began toshout that she saw a spaceship in the sky. How did she knowwhat it was? The sky was unusually cloudy, and I looked towhere she was pointing and saw first two and then threelights moving rapidly in the sky, turning at 90 degreeangles, pulsating and disappearing, etc. I decided to pulloff the road onto a dirt trail I saw to the right, leadinginto the desert. We were away from the road lights, but Ithought I could still see them at a distance. We watchedthe sky together, she in the back seat and I in front, whensuddenly in front of the car there appeared a huge, dark andglowing object with a partial row of lights in the middle.

The next thing I remember is my breath being knocked out ofme as I somehow went through the windshield of the car. Iremember looking back for an instant and the car wascompletely empty of myself or my daughter, and I wasstepping into an opening in a vehicle. I couldn’t see mydaughter, and I asked in terror about her. “She’s going tobe all right.” was what I heard in the center of my mind,and I was strangely soothed and unusually happy.

These beings were tall, about six and a half feet, andseemed to be robed in a fabric that emitted a type of lightperiodically, during movement. Their skin was silvery andtheir eyes were round, and a violet blue that sometimesstreamed out on me with a feeling of love or long lostfamily; it was almost like a homecoming. Their eyes werecloser to the surface of their faces than human’s, and thenose wasn’t well defined. Their mouths were fascinating. Sometimes it seemed that they weren’t dressed at all, andthe body definition wasn’t sexually differentiated. I wasstanding with two of them and noticing that they had nohair, but there was something like fabric that was crumpledand folded behind their backs.

They seemed to be smiling, without moving their mouths. Assoon as I thought “hair”, one of them seemed to producebeautiful reddish gold hair all over its head, smiling. This frightened me. The room I was looking into was about 25feet wide and semi-circular. It was rather dark, and filledwith TV screens running the full wall area, stacked upon oneanother three and sometimes four rows high. All sorts ofpictures appeared on the screens, and strange symbols, andterrains 1?d never seen. Under the screens was a type ofbuilt- in desk, curving all along the wall. In the middleof the room was a long table with three or four chairs thatwere moveable. There were three beings in the chairs, twoof them facing the screens and moving around, while anotherone at the desk area stood from time to time, moving thingsaround. They did not look up. They seemed to be of the sameslender body type as the two that stood with me, but werenot quite so tall. Those two seemed to be laughing all thetime and sometimes there was a sound like wind. They keptsaying “Welcome, welcome!” in my mind, and laughing. Theythen told me some strange things about human origins andalien intervention on the planet earth at various times inthe past and future.

Then they started speaking to me aboutmy individual history. This will sound outrageous, Whitley,but I’ll say it anyway:

There was a whole generation of beings that came to earthin the far past and took up earth life. They were from thefamily of Ranm. That root family name was their name rootalso, but either that planet wasn’t in existence anymore, orit was now inaccessible. They said that was why the old godnames were as they were on earth: Rama, Brahma, Raa inEgypt and Abraham, etc., in order that humans mightremember.

But so much confusion set in that the namesbecame designations for gods or heroes, and that wasn’t thepoint at all. Rather it indicated the name form of theorigin of them, and some of us, being from other starsystems. Then they began telling me my name in theirtongue: “Shalisha Li Ekimu Ranm,” and kept saying it in myhead until I got it right. They said those words meant muchmore, and could be found in earth literature. There wassuch love flowing through them, as they helped me with thename and the earth lineages that went back to the stars. Understand, this wasn’t exactly like words, but were ratherimages or sound pictures that moved between us.

Then they took me through a gray curved corridor to theright of the entrance where I’d come in. I can remember notbeing able to walk, and then walking with ease. We came toa room at the end and to the left of the corridor. Thisroom contained the ship’s driving mechanism.

This happenedin 1968. I was 22 and had no idea what I was looking at. Infront of me was a huge crystal, perhaps three feet across inthe middle. It looked like two pyramids placed base tobase, although at times it seemed multifaceted and totallybrilliant and jewel like.. The crystal seemed suspended inthe air, and around it was a matrix of wires or tubesconnected into a solid type of material concealing the endsof the tubes in a dark smooth mass, so that the entire thingrose about four feet from the floor.

They told me to put mymind into the crystal, and as I did I’d be able to learn howto fly the ship! One of them telepathized how to do it. Itried and failed, but they kept coaxing me and I could hearthem smiling: “Go on, you can do it!” Finally I got itright and we began to move out, first above the earth andthen through the angular pattern of space that was alsotime. I asked why I had to do this and they only said, “Sothat you can remember flying and piloting when necessary.”,and then there was laughter. After the initia1 informationwas placed in the crystal and wire matrix, nothing more wasnecessary, but we stood there anyway until they said, “Timeto return to earth.”

Frantically, I panicked and asked about my daughter and wassoothed , again by them saying she was okay. Then they saidthey were sorry, but didn’t say why, and then there wasgreat love. As we moved to the exit place, they said myname again several times, and something about “soullineage.? I was reluctant to go, but the next thing I knewI had gone through the car windshield again, and foundmyself hanging out of the window gasping for air; I had beencrying and was covered with sweat.

My daughter was in theback seat crying. She told me never to touch her again, andthat she knew who I was and she hated me. I tried to calmher and ask what had happened to her and she shouted, “I’llnever tell you! Leave me alone!” I had a notebook in thecar, and before we left I forced myself to write thesethings down as I remembered them. I looked at the stars ina daze. It was almost midnight, and we had lost about twoand a half hours. At that moment the scene seemed uncanny,yet so perfectly normal.

I felt then that this was thefirst time I’d been able to remember, but that it hadhappened before and I was blocked in remembering. I droveon to California then, as if nothing had happened.

I couldn’t tell anyone ever, and swore to myself to neverdiscuss it. I then began getting afraid of going to sleep atnight, and became really ill and nauseous. My hair began tofall out and my mouth started bleeding, and I was exhausted.I took more vitamins.

One night my daughter woke up screaming and I went to herbed and she said very factually, “Mommy, I’m going to die. The spaceship people told me so. They said little bugs hadgotten into my body and they were sorry, but there wasnothing they could do since I’m a little girl.” Then shewent back to sleep. This frightened me beyond belief.

Thatmorning, she woke up with a high fever and had severe jointswelling. I took her to the hospital and she was diagnosedas having rheumatoid arthritis, yet they weren’t too sure.They wondered if she’d been exposed to radiation. She wasin great pain.

I took her out of the hospital and droveback to Texas and put her in the hospital, only to find outthat she had a very rare cancer of the nervous system,neuroblastoma, and it had metastasized, and she had just afew months to live. She lived until September of 1969. Before her death, she began to draw extraordinary picturesthat were more advanced than a ten year old?s, even thoughshe was only three and a half. She began to write poetry,which I sometimes wrote out for her. The doctors were amazedand thought it might be the chemotherapy, but were not sure.

The day after her funeral, a friend of mine who was agraduate honor student at UT called me from Austinhysterically, saying that she had to drive to Houstonimmediately and tell me something that had happened. Without glasses, she was legally blind, but she droveanyway.

I didn’t think I could handle another emotionalcrisis, since I was in such grief, however she came thatday. We went for pizza, and she told me what had happened.

She said that two nights before at about 2:20 AM, she wasawakened by a noise and then saw her roof begin to dissolve.

In the air above, she saw a type of spaceship. Two tallbeings appeared, and in between them was my daughter. Theytold her they hadn’t been able to get through to me becauseof something, but to let me know that my daughter was okayand was with them! She thought at that point that she’dgone completely insane. At that point in her story, I brokemy promise to myself and told her what had happened thatnight in the desert, and we both cried and cried.

My career has changed radically since that year of 1969. Ibecame, due to these experiences, a professional psychic andastrologer and Qabalist. I’ve never advertised, but havelived and worked all over the world. (She relates that shereached a high position in an eastern esoteric organization,but eventually left it because it was too spirituallyconfining for her. She asked a spiritual leader to free herof her connection to the visitors, and feels that he mayhave succeeded.) Mystical experiences continued, but neveranything specific about the Visitors.

Before that, in 1975, while on an archeological expeditionin Bimini in the Bahamas, there were two solid weeks ofVisitor communication. It culminated with a message thatthey would appear in their vehicle at 9:15 PM over afriend?s flat, and that we should all be there. I felt outon a proverbial limb. Sure enough, though, the craftappeared to all the expedition members present.

There are so many other experiences. I was in Port Aransaswhen I was twelve, since we spent some of the summer on thewater. I have been to England 3 times in the last Yr., andmany interesting things happened at Glastonbury.

There havebeen probably 25 Visitor experiences that I have recall of,all of which leave me with an incredible elation for about 3days, and then a horrible fear of going to sleep at night. I’ll close with what happened in October of 1989,which iswhat spurred me to write this. A week before, I?d decidedthat I wanted to regain the connection back to my destiny,although as I look back, that alien connection happened manytimes, even after (the leader) said he’d take it away. Theonly difference seemed to be that I wasn’t fascinated andfearful somehow, and that it wasn’t important.

Then, Iwasn’t interested in anything but the mystery that we humansseem to be part of; I wanted to know that mystery outside ofany tradition, system or dogma, no matter what anyone saidto the contrary. On the evening of 10/20, I set mymeditation circles around the house and bedroom, and went tosleep. I’m no longer married and live alone with threeother friends in a fourplex. I wanted to try to get out ofbody, since it was the first anniversary of an intenseexperience I’d had in Glastonbury, and if I could I wouldtry to go there.

Sometime in the early AM, I heard the crackling sound Ialways associate with going OOB, and sure enough I couldsee myself lying in the bed, as I moved in light bodythrough the floor downstairs to see if I could grab myneighbor, and get him OOB too. He saw me, and moved OOB,and we roamed around a bit before I departed forGlastonbury. He had always requested that, if I was able toget OOB, I should come to get him if I could.

This didhappen several times, and we shared the occurrencesimmediately in the morning. Usually I was drinking coffee,and he’d knock on the door at about 8:00 AM with, “You’llnever believe what happened to me last night.” Usually Isaid, “Try me.” The recalls were exact.

After an extraordinary experience at Glastonbury, I cameback in through the roof and sat up in my body. It wasabout 4:00 AM. Then I went back to sleep, with no thoughtsof Visitors. I was awakened awhile later by two taps on theglass windows in the bedroom that have a small, slanted roofunder them.

Since I live upstairs, this is the only areavulnerable to entry, and I keep the windows and screenslocked. For the tap to happen, the screens would have to bepulled open. As I awoke, there were two more raps, one longand one short. I turned over and looked toward the window.The moon must have moved to that area of the sky, sincethere was a lot of light streaming in and casting movingshadows of leaves and branches on the half open blinds. There’s also a light that comes in at night around thecorner, attached to my neighbor’s wall, as well as a nightlight that we had installed to be activated by bodymovement. It seemed they were all on.

Staring in at me wasa little grey being such as you described, but the craniumwas larger. I could see it through the half open blinds, andalso its shadow, which unlike the branches stayed perfectlystill. My first thought was, “That’s the being the guy whowrote that book was talking about.” Then to be sure I wasawake, I looked at my hands and sat up in bed and pulled thecovers down a bit. If I’m OOB, these actions areimpossible; either I can’t move my body in the physical, ormy hand goes through matter and has no effect on itwhatsoever. In those circumstances, only thought causesmatter to move, nothing else can. I sat up and looked atit, and it looked at me. It didn’t enter my room, perhapsbecause of the circle I had previously set. Nothing else Iknow of could have kept it out. We stared.

?You don’t have the right to knock on my window and wake meand come to me with your mind, uninvited, and expect me togo with you. Come back when we’ve both agreed to a visit,not like this at 5:15 AM!” I felt absolutely no emotionfrom the being surveying me. Then I turned on the light. “Go away!”, I said out loud. “You’re scaring me.” There wasno soothing energy or anything. Maybe it was drawn to mebecause I’d passed through its world while OOB, and it hadcome to see me in my world to show me what it was like; Idon’t know.

I looked at the digital clock, and it was 5:20AM. About then, there were noises downstairs. It sounded asif my neighbor had begun to open and slam his windows shut,and then the closet doors. There was also a pounding sound,like a few people running hard on the floor downstairs. Inthe night silence, it seemed loud. The windows continued toslam, and I thought he was participating in some sort ofbizarre behavior, and made a note to inquire of him in themorning. With the light on in the bedroom, I could not seeoutside.

I reached under the bed for my revolver, andmentally told the figure that if it didn’t leave, I wasgoing to shoot at it. If it came inside, I’d shoot it forsure. It sounded like my Texas upbringing talking. Thinking back on the incident, I wouldn’t have shot it, butI can never know for sure. When I turned off the light itwas 5:30. The being had moved to the other window by theslanted roof. It seemed to be sitting on he roof andlooking in. I laid back down with the gun in my hand, ontop of the covers, and stared at it until I went to sleep.The noises downstairs had finally stopped before I dozedoff, and I felt strangely comfortable about the whole scarything.

The next morning at 7:30, I sprang out of bed and tapped onthe window. Yes, that was the exact sound. I wentdownstairs at 8:00 and was looking up at the roof when myneighbor came out. It had been another interesting night,he said, and guess what?

I d come to get him again, butthis time he was able to come upstairs to my place too,before we had gone into that golden twilighty place wealways went, where I showed him how to go through walls. Ilaughed and said I remembered, but not exactly in the sameway he did, since I had been able to successfully go toGlastonbury in what seemed like an instant. Then I told himwhat I’d seen on the roof, looking in the window. Theycould have climbed up there from the porch without muchtrouble.

Then I asked him about all the noise downstairs. He hadn’t heard a thing. He’d had a dream that wasdisturbing, however, after the OOBE. He said that thereseemed to be someone up to no good who were trying to breakin downstairs, and he was able to keep them out of thehouse. They then went next door in a vacated area of agarage apartment, and began drawing up plans for the nextattack. They were up to no good, he reemphasized. He wasdoubtful about experience and said he thought that Ibelieved it, but a real physical being?! It had cast ashadow, unlike a projection, and I?d been wide awake sittingup in bed. I woke up with the gun on the top covers. Itwas real.

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