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Pope Canonizes Cheese

April 1, 2008
As part of the Catholic Church's new "fast track"canonization process, Pope Benedict has accidentallycanonized aSt.Andre cheese. The powdery, pale skin of the cheese wasmistaken for the mummified face of the saint, and, followingVatican tradition, it has now been placed in... continued

Strieber Implant Burns

April 1, 2008
The implant in Whitley Strieber's left ear that uses mindcontrol to force him to continuously talk about it burstinto flames on Monday and burned to the ground. Now it'sgone and he has no further reason to mention it in any... continued

Tests Reveal McCain is Black and Barack Admits, ‘I’m White.’

April 1, 2008
After famed race expert Dr.Max Mosley revealed that Republican presidential candidateJohn McCain is actually black, Democratic contender BarackObama said, "Dr. Mosley raided my hairpiece for DNA twoweeks ago, so I?mjust going to go ahead and admit that I?m white.? Mr.... continued

Hillary: ‘I’m an Octoroon’

April 1, 2008
As the stunning news of the Obama/McCain race changes spedacross the wires, Hillary Clinton?s team carried out franticblood tests which have revealed that she?s one-eighth black,or, as used to be stated on public records in Louisiana, ?anOctoroon.? ?As an Octoroon,... continued

Noory Broadcasting from Mars

April 1, 2008
Prominent radio talk show host George Noory has announcedthat he has actually been broadcasting from Mars ?formonths.? Noory is unsure about how he ended up on the redplanet. ?I may have interviewed one abductee too many,? isone theory he offered... continued

Insomnia

March 31, 2008
Can't sleep? Lots of people have that problem. Doctors speculate that the accidental overdose death of actor Heath Ledger happened because he was taking medication for a bad case of insomnia. Live near an airport or highway? Traffic noise you're... continued

Food Shortages in the Future

March 31, 2008
We're all used to seeing images of famine in Third World countries, but this is usually because of local farming conditions or because war has disrupted the distribution of food supplies. However, worldwide food shortages are predicted for the future,... continued

What is Beauty?

March 31, 2008
When it comes to romance, are good looks more important to you than anything else??Only if you're good looking yourself! In LiveScience.com, Jeanna Bryner quotes behaviorist Dan Ariely as saying, "Beautiful people marry beautiful people and less beautiful people marry... continued

World’s Worst Pollution

March 28, 2008
The world's biggest dump is the ocean and most of the trash that ends up there is non-biodegradable plastic. And because of ocean currents, most of it washes up in one small part of the world: a tiny island in... continued

Sunspots Returning?But Strangely

March 28, 2008
Sunspots are returning, just as predicted. But they're not acting as they were expected to. Is this a good thing for global warming?On January 24, a reverse polarity sunspot appeared in the sun's northern hemisphere. Such a sunspot usually marks... continued